I'd rather write about cheese curds.

It is near midnight. I have yet to write a post. Some days are just like that.

This is technically a long weekend, though it hasn't felt like one at all. I'm not sure if it's that yesterday was so busy and tiring or that I feally didn't have any plans that were out of the ordinary.

The most exciting thing I planned to do today was to walk to the bank to deposit some cheques. Since it's a long weekend their hours were reduced, but I figured that I'd just put them in the ATM because I'm in no hurry to spend it.

I arrived at the bank to find it closed like I had imagined it would be but there was a homeless person laying out in front of the door to the cash machines. I didn't want to step over this person or make her move so I just kept walking by. I don't know if that was guilt or just a matter of not liking the picture that that situation would have made. I guess they're both guilt.

Once back at home I attempted to make a dent in the mess that is my living space. I haven't had a closet since I was evicted earlier this summer, so I've had to store all of my closet clothing in a trunk. It's not such a big deal because the thought of keeping my clothes in a large trunk really amuses me.

I have a few things that absolutely must be hung up, though, and I've managed to sneak them into other peoples' closets, mostly without them noticing. ABBY, YOU DID NOT JUST READ THAT.

Anyways, I washed, folded and packed away all my work clothes into the trunk so that they'll no longer be scattered all over the place and because I won't be needing them for a while. I'm glad to be finished work because it was starting to eat away at me, though not glad about the pathetic amount I earned this summer compared to how I've done in the past.

Yet, for once I'm not chomping at the bit to get back to school. I've actually been feeling really apprehensive about it. As far as education goes I did pretty much everything right, got my scholarships and good grades and finished on time with the correct number of credits and yet I chose not to apply for graduation because I remain undecided as to what the next step is.

Now, coming back for another year with what amounts to be a full degree's worth of coursework under my belt, I'm suddenly running into stuff I don't know, and things I feel like I should have learned earlier, and for the first time ever I don't have the prerequisites for anything. Its effect has been destabilizing, and I really feel like throwing out my grad school applications because nothing I will write in there will be good enough.

With eviction, moving, jury duty, family dysfunction, the cat dying, persistent unemployment then subsequent crappy employment, indecision about my education and feeling socially isolated and alienated due to my move, this summer has given my morale a bad beating. Maybe it's not so strange that I've been feeling so ambivalent and apathetic about everything.

Great, I set out to write a dumb post about how it was late at night, my ear was itchy and I was eating cheese curds and this is how it turns out. Can someone please make my tale of woe go away so that I can stop being fixated on it? I'd rather write about cheese curds. They squeak when you bite into them, you know. But only the fresh ones do that.