Things I thought were a good idea but weren't

At Schmutzie's invitation:

1) Salting my afterschool snacks with alum so that my sister wouldn't want me to share with her.

2) Taking a friend up on a dare that I could eat an entire pound of butter in under ten minutes.

3) Going into the bottom of the Ape Caves at Mt. St. Helens without backup flashlights or extra matches and turning off our propane lantern just to see how dark it would get.

4) Eating an entire can of Habitant pea soup in one sitting. (Looks and smells just the same coming out as it did on the way in.)

5) Running across a slippery floor to catch the phone buck naked in the morning before I was awake and/or coordinated.

6) Deciding when I was 5 years old that I was invincible and didn't have to wipe myself after using the toilet. (Which lasted all of about five days).

7) Holding on to the metal attachments on the electrical beater while trying to find the eject button.

8) Standing on the roof of the lodge at Guide camp, yelling at some guys so they would come right up to the fence, and then telling the considerably younger girls inside that they all had axes and chainsaws and wanted to murder us.

9) Saying "surprise me" when Ryan's mixing drinks.