Thursday, October 16, 2008

That was my morning

I had two pages to print. With my head fully saturated with mucus I realized at about 2am that my printer was out of ink so I decided to sleep on it.

In the morning I put them on a flash drive and gave them to my sister to print out on her printer. Her printer ran out of ink during the first page and jammed during the second which threw her into a pissy mood and eventually resulted in her having all the new printer cartridges and me having an inkless printer and my flash drive back.

Eventually we sorted that out. While that was happening I was also making breakfast. I went to the fridge to find that we were suddenly out of eggs. Not a problem because I decided that I wanted some hot cereal instead. You know the kind that has flax, cracked wheat, rye, cornmeal and lots of other super fibrous goodness? Well, actually we have several kinds because I happen to like that stuff, especially with a hefty dollop of peanut butter mixed in.

But the cereal was nowhere to be found in the pantry. Someone had reorganized it and neglected to invite me to the orientation session.

Finally I found some but it was not a kind that lends itself well to microwaving, and probably would have been better if it had been cooked on the stove. I wish to emphasize at this point that I'm a very lazy person in the morning, and that I have timed out my movements for maximum efficiency so I can sleep in as long as possible. I don't have time to be screwing around with all of this stuff.

So, into the microwave it would go, if only I could find the right dish for it. Where the hell was the dish? I make my hot, grainy cereal in a pyrex measuring cup because it combines lines that help me get my proportion of grain to water right, and tall, steep sides that don't allow my breakfast to boil over and make a mess.

It just so happened that my pyrex measuring cup was filled with leftover gravy from Thanksgiving dinner because certain members of my family have come down with some sort of gastrointestinal bug and have not been meeting their leftover consumption quotas. I used another bowl and left everything to fate.

Meanwhile I'd acquired a print cartridge and loaded it into my printer. The thing then went through the dumb process of expelling half its contents onto a test page. Grargh.

But finally I got to print! The whole thing came out with lines all over it which meant I then had to clean the print heads, the printer had to then waste more ink on another dumb test page and then I printed it again. The second time it had lines but they weren't as bad and I didn't have more time to waste on it.

I returned to the microwave to find that the cereal had boiled over and coated the inside of the microwave, the outside of the bowl, the tea towel I used to remove the hot bowl and the kitchen counter that I set the thing on. I closed the microwave because I didn't have time to deal with the mess and I hoped that none of it would become baked on while I was gone.

I ate the remainder of the cereal that was in the bowl and gulped down some fluids because I was still a faucet of mucus, whacked my elbow into the bathroom door while I was doing my hair, missed my bus and got a ride to school where I was locked out of the lab where I needed to do the finishing touches for a project that was due today.

And that was my morning.