Glitter

An office tacky gift exchange has left us with a copy of Dame Edna's autobiography. It has already made an impression on Du, who has taken great delight in being absolutely scandalized by some of the more ridiculous things she's read there. The only problem, of course is that she has to share her incredulity with the rest of us, which is getting a little tiring.

It's my cousin's birthday today, so we made what was to be a quick trip to the little terror's house to deliver some gifts, the crowning glory of which was a Dora the Explorer backpack, just like the one Dora wears. That got her pretty excited and she had to shreik and run around the room for well over an hour. Regardless, I think that she may in fact be slowing down, finally. Perhaps I'm being too optimistic too soon.

My aunt has finally learned what it really means to be a parent: lots and lots of crafts and glitter. Crafts and glitter that you don't really have the space for, but that you can't possibly get rid of because your very own kid made it specially for you. I know there are several boxes of that stuff in my house, somewhere, though perhaps some of it went missing when we moved.

She told us the epic story of the Santa Claus advent calendar. Apparently in my cousin's world, Santa has four eyes, three of which eventually ended up in the toilet. As I'm sure I've already said before, she's an interesting child.

Auntie Evelyn went back to 1962 to get my aunt a Christmas card. Inside was a letter that was pleased to announce that her granddaughter had phoned my grandmother and they've decided that my grandmother is still mentally sharp, in spite of her age. I feel somewhat obligated to point out that though my grandmother is rude, racist, cruel and completely lacking in grace, there is nothing wrong with her mind. The reason why she's living in a home is because she can't walk and she kept falling out of bed. Besides, Evelyn's older.

My aunt claims that she must have taken up smoking her own home grown. Maybe she's right.

I hear The Sound of Music coming from the opposite end of the house right now, and to be honest, I'm a little perturbed.