Hospitality

Mom and dad are home from their rockhounding trip this past weekend but I didn't get the chance to ask if the proprietor of their bed and breakfast was insane or not. It's just our luck that the host of every bed and breakfast we have ever stayed in has fit the following description:

- blonde
- middle-aged
- delusions of grandeur

The first had apparently been everywhere and done everything and had done it better before. She'd apparently organized the catering and hospitality for the Commonwealth Games and had also held a variety of really important sounding jobs in several countries doing really important sounding things and getting all sorts of acclaim, which would naturally explain why she was now the owner of a bed and breakfast in the middle of nowhere, complaining about how difficult it was to break even.

Very few things escaped her commentary, because she was infinitely knowledgeable, and far more qualified to run everything than anyone else. But the thing she was most proud of, the thing she repeated several times over the course of the weekend was

wait for it...

She knew Stockwell Day! The Stockwell Day. Well, maybe not know. Actually she had only just met him, really.

Was I supposed to prostrate myself in front of her or something? I suppose I should have asked her if she had signed the petition to have a referendum on whether or not to change his name to Doris. I certainly did.

The other that stands out more or less fit the same description, except that she claimed often to have a master's degree, though in what I'm not sure. Watching Sex in the City? She kept claiming that she could be doing better than babysitting a bed and breakfast for the owners, but when asked, she said that she would probably be teaching yoga.

But once again, everything we did, she had done already and better. Eventually she figured out that we didn't care and left us so that she could surf lavalife instead.

Update: the proprietor of the place they stayed in this weekend wanted to put another couple in the room with them so they could all "keep each other company."