Tuesday, January 01, 2008

A smashing good time


I don't do resolutions. I had meant to do the cliche 10 most memorable posts of 2007 or a recap about the past year but I was in a car accident Sunday night, our vehicle is a write-off and I'm sore so I'll post whatever I feel like and you will humour me by reading it.

I prefer to call it an amateur seatbelt demonstration, because it occurred to me as I flew into my seatbelt that I could have been flying elsewhere instead. Or perhaps a whoa, there actually were airbags in there? demonstration, because the dashboard said they were there but it was used when we bought it so you can never be sure.

I wasn't particularly scared or hurt or anything, just shocky for a while. There's a point when you relax because you realize that there's really nothing you can do. The airbags deploy in a disorienting puff of grey fog and you're thrown first forwards and then sideways and you grab your sister because you know she's alright but she's screaming and you really want her to shut up. And then you go find the passenger in the other car who is alright but she's screaming because the driver's hunched over into the steering wheel, but he's alright. He's just in shock.

I'm not sure if I'm the least beaten up of everyone or if it's that I don't bruise easily and I have a relatively high tolerance for pain. No way to tell. I didn't feel like lifting any boxes at work yesterday so I didn't.

My mom has large bruises where her seatbelt cut into her upper thighs. At first the one looked like a blue arrow pointing toward her crotch. Since then, the bruise has gotten about six times larger, and now looks like blue and purple flames coming from the general area of her crotch, like the kind of flames people stick on the sides of their cars. We've been making jokes about it.

I took a picture for insurance purposes, and even though she was wearing underwear, I'm not going to post it. She asked me not to, but I wouldn't have anyways.