Scattered

I spent some time downtown today at a little film studio that I'm doing a bit of grantwriting for. I find it amazing how all at of a sudden over the past three months through a series of complete coincidences the film community seems to have reached out and taken me in again.

It's the technology I like. Seeing all the cables hung up and machines stacked on top of each other makes me miss doing all that stuff, especially in high school where there was no pressure to actually make anything decent. I really miss spending hours and hours of time alone in the editing suite watching the same footage over and over, screwing with it until it flows together just right. It's like a puzzle that I have to solve. It's how I write posts for this blog. It's how I do pretty much everything.

I really want to take my camera out and take some pictures but it seems every day I have plans it gets really nasty outside. Today it was snow and rain again. I miss taking pictures

I've been having some trouble lately with speaking. I open my mouth and sound falls out like marbles and makes no sense, and in the process of botching the delivery, the thought that led to it stops making sense too. I'm very scattered and having trouble thinking straight. It's really embarassing. It's something completely new to me and I don't like it. It scares me.