I am going to make up a comic strip for the school paper about a hexoplegic wasp named Alfonso who teaches aerobics. I don't think it will be all that funny but that means it will fit in nicely with the rest of the humour section in the paper. Burn.
Well, not really a burn, just true. And it's also true that the whole paper happens to be one big inside joke between all the editors that no one else who reads it is able to get. ∴ there is no reason to read it in the first place. But whenever someone tries to start another paper that has some sort of relevance to the school population the administration crushes it because that's what they do. Time to shut the school down again.
And once again they'll be talking about the crazy pinkos on the hill but that's alright because somebody has to do it.
On Thursday maybe I'll go down to the paper office and demand my $2.50 back and then keep reading the paper anyways. That way I get it for free, you know?
I was trying to explain the Biblical allusions in U2 lyrics to my father the other day but he didn't get it and I don't know why I do because I've never really read the Bible other than for anthropological reasons to learn about a dead and gone civilization and about how they weren't too crazy about women because they are whores but they do like wells and springs and rivers.
They've got a thing about water in the Bible. I figure those guys must have lived in a desert, but I don't. That's why I honestly don't understand why there's a church down the street but don't try to explain because I'm dense.
But being Irish and good Catholics of course there's all that stuff in U2 lyrics, though my family was Irish too. The orange kind, which came over here and immediately got jobs from the Conservatives beating up Liberal voters and Catholics around election time, which was a common occurance at the time, and you'd know that if you payed any attention at all in History 10. I didn't.
And every time I just say things without thinking they tend to come out inflammatory like I think they just did but some days I just don't care.
There were two Bibles in our house growing up. The first was the official Scrabble Dictionary, second edition, which was used to death, replaced by the third edition and committed to the recycle bin. The second was a book by a guy named E.E. Evans Pritchard called The Nuer, about a group of happy loveable people that lived beside the Nile in southern Sudan. They had cattle and dung huts and they liked drinking cow's blood because they couldn't bring themselves to slaughter their animals and a guy named Qath or Quath or Cuath or something used to live in the sky and shoot people with thunderbolts. Rainbows were very scary things.
There aren't very many Nuer out there anymore though. The British gave the enemy tribe guns, which they used to slaughter all but a couple of them who fled Sudan and came here as refugees where they have to bundle up because it's cold in Canada and there are no cows in the city.
My parents are actually members of the Church of Sun Myung Moon. They got recruited quite accidentally when a nice Japanese woman took their picture and asked them if they believed in the sanctity of marriage or something like that and now sometimes they get invitations to huge mass marriages in the mail and we think it's a scream.
My parents are the only cult members I know.
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