Euthanasia

"Yeah, and then she had to start talking about how she couldn't stand Garrett, and how my aunt is such a twit for allowing her to act up."

"Let me guess, she doesn't beat her children enough?" my mom said.

"Exactly," I replied. "And grandma says that everything that she says about Garrett being well adjusted and making lots of friends is bullshit. That she's going straight to jail. That one day she's going to make friends with the wrong man and then we're all going to be out there looking for her. 'I'm not going to be out there,' she said, 'I'm going to be in bed.' And then she offered me a spot in her bed during the search."

"Whoa, aren't you lucky," mom said with much sarcasm.

"What I don't understand is why she gets so worked up about it. What am I supposed to do, walk up to my aunt and say she raises her kids wrong and that I could do better?"

"I don't get into that whole childrearing criticism thing. It won't do anything except make people angry. And yet your grandmother insists on being bitchy about these things. Oh god, please let me never be like my mother."

"It's okay, mom," I replied, "because by the time you're her age, euthanasia will probably be legal."

Mom practically choked on her food, then burst out laughing. "My very own daughter!" she exclaimed.

"Aha! Who's the favourite child now?" Du shouted.

I don't think I meant it that way.