Vanity

This just in: a guy fell off a boat and nearly drowned on a fishing trip because he was sleepwalking. Sounds like something I would do. I mean, I've woken up outdoors before, or with a completely different set of sheets on my bed. There have been times when I've woken up to find that I'd done a couple loads of laundry in the night.

You should try having a conversation with me while I'm asleep. I'm told that I don't always make sense. It scares me to think of what I might actually say in the middle of the night to whoever happens to be close enough to listen. I don't often say what's actually on my mind when I'm awake.

But what's more likely is that I'll be doing something absolutely pointless like taking poorly lit and framed pictures of myself with frizzy hair in front of the bathroom mirror. A malfunction in my camera will cause the flash to go off ten times as brightly as it usually does, startling me, causing me to trip over my own feet, falling backwards and smashing my head against the bathtub. While I'm lying unconscious on my back, I will aspirate on my own vomit and die.

Until then I'm just killing time.

My last assignment for school is due not this wednesday but the one after it. Then I can relax and regain my optimism.