Nowhere

This is where I say something intelligent and you applaud.

This is where I leave you hanging on my every word. This is where I say the things that keep everyone coming back for more.

Where I say all the things that I know are undeniably true. Not many things are undeniably true, but there are a few things that are, namely:

Godleb Gutjahr is a horse thief and should be shot on site.
Things fall in a generally downward direction.
The cord on my coffee grinder is too short.
Some people are stupid and wrong, but you can't let that get to you or else you'll be angry all your life.

This is where I say that the above are the only things that are true, and the rest of everything in the world is contested.

This is where I stop stuttering in public, stop putting people to sleep with the monotony of my voice.

This is where I say something that makes this post worth reading.

...

I got nothing.

Sorry.

This is where you comment kindly.