You're sure you haven't been drinking?

You know it's time for everyone to take vacations when on your first full day back at work the receptionist grabs hold of one of the accountants, drags him down to your desk and announces loudly that they're both having an affair, only to have another accountant walk by and announce that he's their illegitimate child.

A single lightning strike around lunchtime threatened to implode the windows of our building, then backed off, laughing at how startled we all got. Displaced air, so I'm told. That's all sound really is.

You don't realize just how many people Translink moves at a time until it all stops working for some reason. Some sort of police incident at Waterfront Station and they shut down Burrard, leaving what seemed like thousands of people crowded around on the street, looking kind of dopey.

It's not art or innovation or even life that drives the world, just routine.

In a strange turn of events, the spinach I was eating for dinner suddenly took on the consistency of chewed up roast beef, which made me gag so much that I had to spit it out. I swear, roast beef is one of the most disgusting foods I have ever had the chance to eat.

A field guide to your boyfriend.