Sunday, September 16, 2007

If

IMG_1474_1If I was a guy I'd probably look like Cousin It only with nicer hair.

If they'd actually let me skip grade 3 instead of just talking about it I probably would have had friends in grade 6 and I like to think that would have made all the difference in the world. Who knows? Maybe I wouldn't have been so weird, and maybe I would have had an easier time of things. Maybe it wouldn't have changed a thing.

But I find these people on facebook and I think damn and then after that I'm not sure what to think. I highly doubt that I'd be friends with a lot of these people if I met them today, but maybe if I'd skipped that grade I'd be the sort of person who would.

And maybe I'd be the sort of person who actually goes out and does things and not the sort of person who sits at home at night, gets set up with the wayward sons of middle aged women hoping I will somehow reform them and who ironically enough, gets asked for relationship advice by 14 year old boys from Moose Jaw.

Dwelling on this stuff is stupid, I know.

I pulled out my sketchbook today but from then on I went blank, so the page is just as white as when I started. It's frustrating.

I keep thinking that I should turn this blog into more of a sketchbook or scrapbook or something, make it more random with more of my drawings and less thinking in general, but I can't seem to bring myself to do that. I think too much. There's no spontinaeity here.

These days I feel like I just need to talk. I pick a random person on my msn that I haven't talked to in a while and dump a bunch of stuff on them. The further they have moved away from here and the longer we've gone without talking, the better.

I really shouldn't do this. I realize that everyone always says "You can call me if you ever need to talk," but I'm pretty sure they never expect you to actually take them up on the offer, at least that's how it seems when I do.