The perils of having long hair

People look at me and tell me they wish they had long hair like me. I smile because it's technically a compliment but really what I'd like to say is:

No, no you don't.

The above is a picture of the head on my vacuum cleaner after one full sweep of my carpet. It is so clogged with hair, it will not pick up anything until I pick all the hair out with tweezers. If it doesn't get clogged there, it'll clog the bag instead.

Not to mention, I go through shampoo and conditioner by the bucket, and when I shower, my wet hair likes to squish itself between my butt cheeks, which I find extremely annoying.

It also gets wound up around my neck when I sleep so I wake up all nice and noosed.

So no, you don't want long hair. You just want to admire it on other people, that's all.