Where are feathers when I need them?

Let's get this straight.

I did not intentionally coat the next door neighbour's kid's feet with coal tar, but I would be lying if I said that it was an accident. It's more like second-degree tarring. I just wish I had feathers.

It is just that he is such a rotten little bastard. He digs up the plants in the garden, he walks uninvited into my house, he tears branches off of my Japanese maple, he asks too many questions and he abuses my cat. Now he has black spots all over his feet. Am I a bad person because I feel no remorse?

My sister and I were the two lucky people that got to seal the driveway with tar today. It quickly got boring, so I got my computer, put it beside the driveway and played music off of it. I also had a rather long msn conversation with Kathy, which Du also took part in, much to Kathy's confusion.

After a while it began to get dark, and a fire truck drove by. It slowed down near our house so that all the firemen could stare at us, still rolling tar all over the ashphalt, and dancing around a laptop. They were kind of cute.

I think the neighbours think we're weird.