Things I learned from TV, part 2

Ie. my literal reading of primetime commercials.

Kia vehicles cure emo.

Tim Hortons coffee, when supplemented with hockey, either watched or played, mends family rifts and puts to rest old feuds.

Westjet staff love you. They must use Nicorette because that's what makes airline stewardesses pleasant.

Eating cheese keeps you barefoot and pregnant.

Purolator helps auctioneers ship things because they talk too funny to help themselves.

Booking trips on Expedia.ca makes you speak far too quickly to be able to communicate effectively.

Volvo really, really, really badly wants to break into the Canadian market.

Listening to Sigur Ros in your car is the leading cause of pedestrian deaths in Canada.