Take these hands and throw them in the river

Someone arrived at this blog today looking for pointers on how to pry elevator doors open. I don't know how everyone else does it but I pry them open with my bare hands.

Someone also came looking for twilight zone tupperware. I'm intrigued. Does it eat your soul or cause disaster in an unexpected way? That would definitely add some intrigue to tupperware parties.

This is turning into a really crappy post. Fact is, things aren't going so well and it's really killing my ability to think of something amusing for everyone to read. It's just not where my head is at right now.