Conversation with my mom

"See this linoleum? I like it. We should tear up our wood floors and put this down instead."

"I don't know. I like wood."

"But it's cool, right?"

"You're like your father and mirrors. He wants to put up mirrors everywhere. He wanted to put a mirrored door on the laundry closet and I said no. We could put a mirrored door there. No. How about putting a mirrored door at the end of the hallway? No. So this is where we're putting the mirrored door..."

"No!"

"But a mirror would make the hallway look bigger."

"That hallway's a dark hobbit hole. You could coat it with mirrors and that wouldn't change it."

"You really don't want the mirrored doors, eh? No, I don't want them!"

"Yes, but the linoleum here, I like it."

"It's kind of retro."

"It is retro. This school is really old. It reminds me of that linoleum that used to be under the carpet in my room."

"That ugly grey brown orange stuff?"

"Yeah, the kind that looked like vomit. Only this is a nice colour combo: cream, grey and teal. It would make a nice palete for a room."

"Maybe in your house."

"There's someone on Etsy who makes decorative bowls out of maps and newspaper and stuff. They would go well with this linoleum."

"That's neat."

"When I'm the only survivor of the nuclear holocaust I'm going to move into this room because the floor is awesome."