Abby says my vacuum cleaner's sexy

It's a well known fact that I don't clean. Some would even say that I am a slob, though I think that's a little harsh. I just have a higher tolerance for dust than other people do.

I got a brand shiny new vacuum cleaner to combat the growing number of irritating flecks of dirt appearing on my carpet. White carpet. Who in their right mind has a white carpet?

Unfortunately, the act of posessing a vacuum cleaner in itself doesn't ensure that your carpet will stay clean.

That's right, I vacuumed.

It was such a momentous occasion that people took pictures, none of which will be seen here. They're much too frightening.

Right now I'm watching an one of those crappy, nameless sci-fi action shows. You know the type: bad writing, bad acting, plenty of poorly done cgi and a confusing as hell plot. I have listened for nearly a half hour to my sister criticizing every single inaccuracy in the scubadiving scene. Now it's my turn.

Where was the ambulance call?

Shouldn't you check for a pulse before you start CPR?

And excuse me, where was the landmarking? She's going to cause some pretty serious internal bleeding the way she's doing it.

Since when has the procedure for CPR been four slow-assed compressions to one breath (that obviously didn't go in because she hadn't opened up the guy's airway)?

I hate to burst everyone's bubble, but when you're doing CPR on someone, that is because they are dead. They're not going to wake up no matter how much you pump on their chest unless someone shocks them with a defibrilator. I saw no shocking, so therefore, the guy in the show is a zombie. I would be worried about that.

I shudder to think of what would happen if I just collapsed unconscious somewhere...