Bisweptuals

It's always best to be in the fastest boat. That way you don't have to worry about where everyone else is. If I screw up their courses, I don't care. They can eat my wake.

When people talk to me, I start to sound really old. I look pretty young, but I'm just back-dated. Yeah.

When I was a youngun we had to walk fourty miles uphill in sandals and socks through ankle deep mud just to get our boats to the water. We erged on model B's inside the unheated men's changeroom at a public pool and those things were so fucking dangerous. One time Johnny stuck his foot inside the flywheel and it broke a couple toes. Really mangled his shoe too.

We didn't have a coxbox back in the day so we had to yell everything and lose your voice. The steering on the boats never worked and the wake on the water was so big that it would split your entire boat in half.

All our spandex had holes in it and poggies hadn't even been invented yet. You got frostbite in your fingers? Suck it up!

There was none of this choosing which side you wanted to be on thing. The coach told you which side you were on and you sat there. End of story. We were all bisweptuals. Bisweptuals!

Or, at least, I was until the big back injury of '03...

Nah, I don't sound like that, really.

I can't quite promise that I'll snap out of talking this weird language I'm not sure you all understand.