Monday, October 23, 2006

What kind of fool doesn't think about it?

thunderbirdA friend of mine has started tacking on the fact that she only has four more semesters on to the end of her msn name and it's starting to bug me. Not because of the fact that she's obviously going to finish ahead of me, but because it's got me thinking prematurely about what the hell I'm supposed to do with the rest of my life.

This past summer was a bit of a wakeup call for me. In previous summers I'd gone and done something like lifeguarding and coaching, things that young people do while they're in school, and the stuff that you get nostalgic about when you're older. But this past summer I worked for the government.

It wasn't like it was a summer internship/coop position for students, either. The person who I was sitting in for was only going to be away for a few months. He was done school and that was his full-time job. The job was for the most part tedious and unnecessarily complicated, and had alternating days of incredible overworkedness and sitting on my ass doing absolutely nothing. Regardless of which one I experienced on any given day, I'd come home mentally exhausted every night.

And sitting there, checking my email for the umpteenth time in the hopes of more work to distract myself with, I was hit with a cheery thought: millions of adults are all sitting in ergonomically correct chairs like me, doing more or less the same thing as me, with more or less the same or greater education than me. I could be doing this for ever and ever and ever and ever

andever andever andever andever
anever anever anever anever
never never never never


And thinking about that got me really scared. I get bored of things. I get disillusioned so easily that the thought of sticking with anything, a job, a lifestyle, a place, a person, for any lengthy period of time is unfathomable to me. Absolutely unfathomable.

So, what does that leave me? Fuck, I don't know.

I'll finish my degree in communications and my certificate in community economic development. Then maybe I'll move to Argentina.