I've been away

In the class supply list they always said 2B and 4B but I've always had a thing about arbitrary authority so I always had B and 3B instead. I'm drawing again. Haven't done that in a while. Sometimes I wonder at the things that come out of my head when I do that. Most things I don't show anybody because no matter how hard I try, I can't answer their questions.

I've always had a thing about austerity as well. Don't ever let me tell you I'm broke, because that's a lie. I just tie up everything I have in investments and such so I can't touch it. I wouldn't spend it even if I let myself. Don't get me wrong, I always pay my fair share of things, which reminds me that I owe Kathy $5.50. She doesn't bug me about it because she knows she'll definitely get it eventually, but she probably should.

But in spite of the austerity-as-ideal, I can't seem to live up to it. It doesn't matter how bare I make my apartment, people still exclaim over how cool it is and it's still better, somehow, than where all my friends are living. I mean, what else can I do? Get rid of my tv? I wouldn't exactly miss it much...

I could replace my bed with one of those dog mats that are filled with cedar shavings. That way I'd always wake up smelling really nice, like a sawmill. I could get rid of my bedroom dresser because I use the floor anyways and it's ugly.

The floorlamps stay, though. They're antiques and I like them. I have a bad habit of walking into other peoples' houses and appraising their antiques, but I only collect lamps. I can compromise there by taking the lampshades off.

And somehow or other I can't seem to bring myself to take the chill off the edges of this place, not even when heat is free.

It's kind of hard to dumb myself down and fit in with everyone else when my ta seems to feel compelled to mention to the class that they should be clamouring to have me in their study groups because I got a lousy 97% my first midterm. Not when he does it twice. I'm not good at math, honest. I just study.

I found a really old playlist on my computer the other day that was simply titled "stuff I don't listen to enough." It's got Broken Social Scene, Jefferson Airplane, Scissor Sisters, Afghan Whigs, Belle and Sebastian, The Pixies, Dandy Warhols, Neil Young and other goodness. I'm liking it a lot. At some point or other, this song got stuck on repeat for about two hours and I've been singing it ever since.