Friday, June 29, 2007

It's like the nature channel, only different

This seems to be the summer of ogling, because I was at the gym at lunch with some of the people from my office and we let this guy join in with us and all of a sudden the game got really, really competitive, like he was trying to impress me or something. There is also a marked increase in the amount of random guys staring at me on the bus this year and I want to tell them all to shove off.

I don't know about this whole mating thing anyways. As humans we have the audacity to call ourselves more civilized than animals and yet it seems the best that we can manage for attracting the opposite sex is the puffing of feathers and strutting in circles and awkward conversation. We're no different than pigeons and I'm not impressed.

During these encounters I always hear a little narrator and an uninspired flute trill. "The male approaches the female, dressed in athletic wear. He will use this guise to catch the female off guard in the hopes of having time alone with her. The female is busy interacting with others of the same species so the male must smile in order to indicate that he wishes to join in...


"Having completely tired out the female's companions, the male extends his hand in supplication. The female shakes it, then promptly leaves the building, evading the advances of the male..."

Tomorrow they'll be locking antlers or making bizarre calls or lying on the ground, presenting their bellies to me or something. Oh joy.