Cold shoulder

"There's Erin with her big-assed saxophone on wheels walking ten miles to school..."

"Barefoot, in the snow, uphill..."

"Both ways," he chuckled.

"Well Erin's graduated now, so she's got a laptop and a bus pass instead."

"Did she get those for graduation?"

"No, she bought those with her own money thankyouverymuch."

"And what did she get for graduation, might I ask?"

"A nice watch and a palm pilot. A car would have been nice, but it didn't happen."

"Did you ask for one?"

"No, but I wouldn't have gotten one anyways."

"You never know. Like I could have been going out with that girl over there. Did you see that? I was totaly hitting on her and she so blew me off," he said.

"I noticed."

"What's with that? I mean, I went over there with chocolate and I offered it and the friend was excited and took some and she said no, she didn't want any."

"Maybe you should have been hitting on the friend then."

"And I remembered her name. I mean I wrote it down on the first day of class so I wouldn't forget it because I'm supposed to know her name and she's supposed to be impressed like ooh, this guy knows my name and is giving me chocolate..."

"And you got the cold shoulder? Aww, poor you."

"I just don't understand."

Hmm... could it possibly be that your every action screams out 'I'm a filthy, cheating, lying bastard,' and has screamed that every day since I first met you eight years ago? No, of course not.