Oreo connoisseurs

We kept seeing those ads for the new vanilla Oreos and decided that at some point or other we would have to investigate. Who says I can't be swayed by advertising?

We both had a sneaking suspicion that the vanilla Oreos would taste suspiciously like the old vanilla Girl Guide cookies when Mr. Christie used to make them because Mr. Christie doesn't make Girl Guide cookies anymore.

So imagine my non-surprise when my father arrived this evening at my apartment bearing vegetables, gourmet mustard, a new loofah for me and vanilla Oreos. Yes, my dad is awesome.

Being the Oreo connoisseurs we are, we turned the radio on to the first classy sounding station we could find, 90.9 on the fm dial to what seemed to be CBC Radio Canada where they were playing violin arias and reading the news in French.

Then we tried them out. Our initial reaction was that they were extremely crunchy, like dog biscuits. The tartar control kind that help your dog have healthy teeth.

We soon found that soaking them in milk did not help with the crunchiness. This met with instant condemnation on our part.

You know those Oreo commercials where the older kid says to the young kid "you know, when I was your age, Oreos used to be chocolate..." and sounds like the cliche old man? Well we parodied them until we were bored.

"When I was your age, we could chew through Oreos without breaking our teeth."

"Nowadays cookies are so goddamned hard that you can skip them on ponds like rocks!"

"You could stick some together and use em as hockey pucks!"

"These things are so hard, you could stone someone to death with them!"

Anyways, now I'm sitting across the room from him and I've changed my mind about the classiness of CBC RadioCanada. After the violins and the news ended, there was a full hour of tone-deaf girls with acoustic guitars shreiking "you got me wet" and other such stuff followed by some guys who only know three chords and sound severely constipated. More specifically, they sound like the French language equivalent to Korn.